April 8, 2025

The Kids are Not Alright, but Why?

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The Kids are Not Alright, but Why?

The kids are not alright— learned helplessness and lack of perseverance and grit are plaguing our schools and children across America— but why? Join Jamie and Joe as they explore possible reasons and solutions to the very big questions that keep many educators and parents awake each night.

Learned helplessness and lack of perseverance and grit are plaguing our schools and children across America, but why? Join Jamie and Joe as they explore possible reasons and solutions to the very big questions that keep many educators and parents awake each night.

 

 

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You are listening to the Balancing Act podcast. Here's your hosts,

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Jamie Wanko and Joe Vitale.

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Hello, and welcome back to the officially recording podcast. Oh, nice.

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The Balancing Act. Hello there, Mr. Vitale. I'm Jamie Wanko. How are you doing?

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I'm doing just fine there, Ms. Wanko. So I'm having a wonderful day today.

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It's just a wonderful day. Oh, my gosh. I have my salmon-colored shirt on.

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I'm enjoying some hopefully nicer weather soon, although I'm tired of standing

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outside in children's sporting events and freezing.

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Oh. A few years ago, my wife got me an Amazon find. It was a battery-operated heated jacket.

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Yeah, I think you've mentioned that before. And it is glorious.

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So doesn't that keep you toasty it does keep me

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toasty um but it's still cold because

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i'm a wuss when it comes to the cold uh yeah and

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it's just nice that we are officially in springtime big

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ups to spring springtime all pollen all the time what are you looking forward

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to what are you looking forward to this spring there buddy what are you looking

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forward to what am i looking forward to this spring well i was doing um as i

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do i often do at this time of year i like to do how many weeks of school are left,

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exactly what it is that I want to accomplish before the end of the school year,

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how many weeks. I like it.

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And then I like to make like I, you know, it's very fancy.

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I take like a eight and a half by 11, you know, copy paper page and I just make

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enough, you know, and I kind of plan it out so that I can see exactly how many weeks.

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And then also all the things that are going to come up in between as far as

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class trips or celebrations or just anything else that might,

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a testing, of course, testing, testing, one, two, three, all the testing that comes through.

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So I like to map out, you know, how many topics I have left to cover and what

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are the things that are most important for me to get to.

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And then, you know, kind of be able to say, all right, well,

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this is how many days we really have.

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And, you know, so we're kind of just getting ready for the, if not,

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you know, tipping right over into our last marking period. Which is crazy. Yeah.

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This year, I don't know. I don't know if you feel the same way,

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but this year more than any, it's like I blink and here we are.

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I feel like we are just in September and I'm never one for wishing time away.

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I really, I really, you know, I don't want to do that because,

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you know, you want to enjoy and be in the moment.

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When you're with your family, when you're with your friends,

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you want to enjoy that time.

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But like, it just goes so quickly this year.

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So it's crazy to think that we're almost into that fourth marking period time frame. It is.

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So you talked about work stuff. Like, what are you looking to accomplish work-wise by the end of the year?

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Just like projects and stuff like that? You know, I mean, we did Mega Project.

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That was a project that the three of us that all teach the same subject in eighth

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grade. We did a MAGA project together.

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And the kids, it was like backed by popular demand.

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All three of us have been asked multiple times, four, I should say four,

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because one of the classes has two teachers in it.

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Well, they're together like how you are.

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They're together three out of the four classes that he teaches.

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So there are, you know, four of us for majority of the day.

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And um and so i have to say like the kids just keep

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asking can we do that again are we going to do that again so like

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none of us can ignore that the the absolute you

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know um interest that the kids have so we already know when we're doing it again

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that's great it's good it's great to lean into that too like if the kids really

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want to do it like not not to change the subject but i just did a mock trial

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with my students um and i told them like i have others like they really enjoyed

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it. And I was like, I want to do those with you.

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I said, you know, I got some things I need to accomplish with you guys,

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but like, you know, we'll do another one. I got one about Goldilocks and the three bears.

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I got one, you know, and, and they're very, they're very good.

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And they've even come in a couple of times. Okay. Are we doing that trial thing

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again? I'm like, we're going to get to it.

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I promise. I'm not just saying that we are going to do another mock trial, but I need to do that.

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That's the thing. I need to do the same thing that, that you did.

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Like, I need to sit down and look it over because I also have things I want

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to accomplish by the end of the year.

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Normally now is when I start diving into, in a deeper fashion, when we do DBQs.

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And the DBQ project book that we have, because I like to do those because I

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think it gives students a good idea about their writing and finding their voice.

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And what I also like about it is it teaches students that you need to know multiple

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sides of the argument in order to make your argument stronger.

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So if you're going to argue that I use an example of you're going to argue that

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the fifth Harry Potter book is the most influential one to the story,

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then you have to stick with that.

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But also know why the other ones aren't as strong. You have to know the resources

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and the information behind it.

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So I work with them through that process. And I enjoy it.

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I enjoy doing the writing with them to try to teach them the process.

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Because I also try to say, you might do these in the eighth grade.

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You also might decide you want to take an AP course in the high school.

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And they're like, because they offer world history AP for freshmen in the district that we work in.

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And a lot of them were kind of looking at me. and I was like,

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they're like, why are you talking about a freshman class? Like we're in seventh grade.

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I'm like, well, by this time, yeah, by this time next year, you'll have made

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your eighth grade schedule.

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Right. So we might as well start exposing you to some of the things in a smaller

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fashion of what you're going to see. So you can make an informed decision. I'm a good writer.

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I'm a critical thinker. Therefore I can take this challenging course or I'm not good at this.

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So I'm not going to, that's a good thing to know.

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Um, or it's something I really want to get better at. Yeah. What about that?

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I want to work to improve.

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Absolutely. And what is something personally you want to do this spring?

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What are you looking to do?

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Looking forward to? What am I looking forward to this spring?

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Well, I have some, um, theater that I'm going to be seeing and,

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um, I'm very much looking forward to that.

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Just getting some tickets for Legally Blonde, the musical.

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Um, so I'm excited about that. And last year I actually planted a garden,

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um, and things actually grew.

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Um, so I'll be looking forward to that again. I had a lot of delicious basil,

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um, tomatoes, uh, and some other things like that. So we'll definitely do that again.

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Um, I want to put my, um, hot tub out a little earlier this summer than I did last year. I like it.

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And, um, and so last year we had, um, a bunch of work done on our house.

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So we did not put it up until after we came back.

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Cause it was kind of like, why put it out? And then you got to put it away.

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You know, we have this inflatable hot tub, totally recommend 10 out of 10. Is it a game changer?

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I mean, I wouldn't call it a game changer cause I wouldn't want to offend anybody,

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but, um, you know, it was definitely like, it was a fun, it was a fun birthday

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present a couple of years ago. And it is something that, um.

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You know, we just enjoy so much.

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And, um, and so it was really nice. Um, you know, and then we say like,

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Oh, you know, you have a pool.

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So, you know, it's like, you kind of say like, yeah, I'm going to leave it up to September.

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And then it's like one September comes and like, just like a thousand things back going on.

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Um, but I definitely, like, you know, it was like, we just have to get,

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we have to take this down. We just have like one less thing to worry about, you know?

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Um, so I definitely think that getting in on like the earlier side.

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Um, so I'd like to have that.

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And, um, it's just so nice to the sun to be shining, to be getting outside and

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having, um, a little bit more, you know, time to walk and I love taking walks.

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So just those kinds of things I'm really looking forward to my,

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you know, girls are in a show in May.

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Um, so that's really exciting. So that'll be like a pretty busy thing.

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And, um, you know, and then of course, like, you know, we have,

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um, cotillion and there's just like all these different things that are popping up.

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So I was actually in looking at, you know, because we have 11 weeks left of the school year, um,

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10, 11 weeks that at this point, I don't know when this is gonna,

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you know, come out, but, um, it really is, um, a shorter amount of time than,

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you know, sometimes you think like, oh, it's going to be long,

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but it's, it's really not.

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So that's the thing too, as we move to close the one marking period,

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like I'm, I'm already thinking like, okay, when we start the next one, I want to front load the.

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You know, get some grading done as quickly as possible into the marking period

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because it ends so abruptly when we get to June.

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I mean, trade secret for me, it's not a secret.

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I'm sure lots of people do this, but I close every marking period a week early

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and start a week early and.

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Especially second marking period because the holidays come and hit the kids

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really hard, whether they celebrate Christmas or not.

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Like the season is the reason to not do your homework. So, or work or,

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you know, that everybody just gets so distracted.

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So I feel like second and fourth, it's kind of like you really have to sort

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of get going and have like a handle on that because, yeah.

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And even just, you know, once the weather turns again and we start feeling the

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warmth, they really get, you know, antsy.

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They start hearing the magical sound of summer, the ice cream man riding around the streets.

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Yeah yeah i'm looking forward to uh you know i did get my jeep so i have the uh little uh.

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Mechanical top thingy so i'm looking forward to opening up

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the top i've done it like on one or two warm days just to

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drive around a little bit nice that was nice uh i'm

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gonna i want to sneak out with our older golden retriever

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darius and put him in the damn jeep and drive down to

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island beach state park and just let him run around on the

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sand and because you know i hate sand um and.

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And you know jump in the water because he loves the beach um

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i'm hoping to be able to do that now how will you prepare him

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to get back in your car to drive him back home i'll

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figure it out um no honestly

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i'll be hermetically seal him you know no no

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no honestly it's we it's weird with dogs like they

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don't get as sandy as you would think they kind of shake off and

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everything just kind of like like kind of goes off it's

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their paws that you worry about and then towels wipe them

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off i mean who's the psycho me or joe let's compare um

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you know i my theory is like you

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go to the beach you have your stuff you come

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off the beach you you know shake shake

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swap you know you swat a little bit at your

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leg feet you know get the majority off everybody and

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then um you know at the end of the summer you you

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go to the car wash and you vacuum all

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the stand away and say like goodbye summer i watched

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my car i watched my mr vitali and family have

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been not anymore we don't really do that anymore we

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were when they were younger right because this could be a really good question

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for our list listeners um especially those that go to the beach communities

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do you um you know do you spend like a good 45 minutes um at your car cleaning

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or he'll say it's not 45 minutes but we were home and already having dinner

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and they were still cleaning themselves.

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I was just curious. That is not true. Uh.

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But no, we did do a lot of clean off because my daughter. I know. We saw you.

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My son was also like a chafe monster. So we were trying to get all this because

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he hates having sand in his bathing suit. So we were always like, let's get it out.

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And he would always do like that one last dip where he'd like run in and then

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he would be a breaded chicken cutlet when he got to the car.

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So we would just try and get it off because it was like everywhere.

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But no, it's just I have like a I have like an old sheet that I put in the back.

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I throw everything in there and then i pull

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the sheet out and shake it throw back in that was old joe not

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new lazy fair joe i mean you know

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when you're lazy fair joe i'm taking i'm taking lessons

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from my son who i'm not sure is my child because he

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is the most go with the flow child on the history of the in the

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history of the universe he's just like meh but what when

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you know joe you need a suit yeah what do you

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want it to be i don't know i don't know i'll figure it out like how are

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you when when like do you know it needs

00:12:28.117 --> 00:12:30.777
to be purchased like and you know

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might need to be tailored a little bit to like fit your so yeah so anyway um

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but yeah i'm looking forward to that i'm looking forward to the weather just

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being warmer being outdoors playing a little golf yeah definitely enjoying the

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outdoors because it's been a long you know it's been a long winter for a variety

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of reasons it was chilly it was there was definitely some chilly points although So my, um,

00:12:50.917 --> 00:12:55.837
my recent gas bill would think that I live in the Biltmore state and that that's

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what I was, you know, that's what I was heating up.

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Um, you know, I am very old fashioned. I was one of the last people to get online banking.

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Um, and when I finally did it, I couldn't let go of my old system.

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So I do like half and half, but my, um, system was always to make my own, um, chart.

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And the chart has like all of the bills that I pay.

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And then all of the months, of course, you know, it goes from like July to June or whatever.

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And, and, and so I have like just in one little packet, like five,

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the last five years of all the bills that I've paid and how much I've paid.

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So the other day when the gas bill came, I was like, say what now?

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What are you talking about, Willis?

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Right? And I had to look like 2024, 2023, 2022, 2021, 2022. It was so much more.

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And I understand that they are increasing our, you know, it's just one of those things.

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But it was crazy. It was about $65 higher than it had been.

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For the last five years. It's just, I don't, yeah, you know,

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and I love, I don't want to get into a political statement, but like,

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you know, everybody, Democrats, Republicans, this person doesn't like,

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like, okay, let's start.

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I realized that wealth drives, you know, economies and creates jobs,

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but like our companies that are like billion dollar companies that are crying

00:14:32.620 --> 00:14:35.240
losses, But yet they're still making, you know,

00:14:35.920 --> 00:14:40.360
hand over fist on the little people like us, even though we have this gigantic

00:14:40.360 --> 00:14:41.940
podcast on human content. It's so true.

00:14:42.180 --> 00:14:46.560
I have this boy in my fourth period. And he always is like, Ms.

00:14:46.600 --> 00:14:47.440
Wonka, I know you're rich.

00:14:47.840 --> 00:14:49.700
I'm like, you do?

00:14:50.760 --> 00:14:55.800
Really? And he's like, oh, yeah. He's like, I just look at you and I can tell. You've got money.

00:14:59.360 --> 00:15:03.400
It's just so funny. And I'm like, I, thank you.

00:15:03.700 --> 00:15:07.860
And for him, it's like, and it's such a like, you know, compliment.

00:15:08.340 --> 00:15:12.320
And it just cracks me out because I'm like, are you my first grade teacher?

00:15:12.460 --> 00:15:17.240
You know, my first grade teacher, Mrs. Del Mastro, told my parents at my conference,

00:15:17.480 --> 00:15:21.020
like the conference when they went, Jamie really needs to marry wealthy.

00:15:21.600 --> 00:15:24.700
Oh. You know, Mrs. Del Mastro, she was my girl.

00:15:24.820 --> 00:15:28.200
I used to sit right next to her desk so we could chat. um

00:15:28.200 --> 00:15:33.440
and um she was going through a divorce i knew

00:15:33.440 --> 00:15:36.300
all about her divorce i knew like she was like a single

00:15:36.300 --> 00:15:41.160
you know raising her daughter at six

00:15:41.160 --> 00:15:43.920
you know so um anyway it just i we always

00:15:43.920 --> 00:15:48.340
laugh because i'm like damn it mrs domastro i should have listened to you not

00:15:48.340 --> 00:15:54.480
married for love just but anyway i chose love what can i say i mean and that

00:15:54.480 --> 00:15:59.420
is always the right choice so i mean We've been rambling on about our springs

00:15:59.420 --> 00:16:01.280
and everything else. What are we talking about today?

00:16:01.420 --> 00:16:04.100
What are we talking to? Spring time, that ring and ding and ding time.

00:16:04.340 --> 00:16:07.600
I do have to go back to one thing that you said earlier when you described your

00:16:07.600 --> 00:16:10.020
shirt color. What color is your shirt? Salmon.

00:16:10.380 --> 00:16:12.780
I just want to shout out my grandmother, R.A.P.

00:16:13.320 --> 00:16:19.340
Josephine, a woman for the ages who always had to say salmon.

00:16:19.680 --> 00:16:24.220
Salmon. The L was never silent. The L was never silent. Just like almond. Yeah.

00:16:24.950 --> 00:16:30.030
She said almond. Almond. That sounds weird. I need you to go to the restaurant

00:16:30.030 --> 00:16:32.850
depot and I need you to get me almond paste.

00:16:33.670 --> 00:16:37.730
Yeah. She would crank out cookies like nobody's business. Oh,

00:16:37.730 --> 00:16:40.190
you made them this. You made them fish.

00:16:40.510 --> 00:16:43.450
Yeah, I do. My grandmother would make vanouli cookies like nobody's business.

00:16:43.750 --> 00:16:48.270
I can't even have them in the house because my son will just destroy them. Almond.

00:16:48.790 --> 00:16:53.430
Yeah. My son at one point was watching Sopranos with us because,

00:16:53.550 --> 00:16:55.690
you know, if you're from New Jersey, that's what you watch. Yeah.

00:16:55.870 --> 00:16:58.810
And he was in his Tony Soprano era and would just like, you know.

00:17:00.090 --> 00:17:03.510
Gobba ghoul. Gobba ghoul. Hey, it's a callback.

00:17:04.290 --> 00:17:07.550
They have a great podcast. Have you ever seen that? I have.

00:17:07.690 --> 00:17:09.390
I haven't listened to it. Like Meadow and the other. Yeah, yeah,

00:17:09.450 --> 00:17:13.550
yeah. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. I've seen some clips on social media.

00:17:13.790 --> 00:17:15.310
Bobbity boobity. Yeah. Bibbity boobity.

00:17:16.570 --> 00:17:19.650
Yeah, but so, yeah, for sure. So what are we talking about, friend?

00:17:19.910 --> 00:17:24.090
What are we talking about? Yeah. Huh. I don't know. I don't know.

00:17:28.710 --> 00:17:31.410
So on these episodes where I like to surprise Joe with a topic,

00:17:31.590 --> 00:17:36.910
it's just always so delightful to me to watch him in anticipation of what the

00:17:36.910 --> 00:17:38.430
topic is going to be. I like the surprise.

00:17:38.510 --> 00:17:40.250
I ask her, like, hey, is there anything you want to talk about tonight?

00:17:40.290 --> 00:17:42.550
A lot of times we plan out what we're going to say. We do.

00:17:42.810 --> 00:17:45.730
We do. But sometimes it's like she likes to just throw these curveballs in.

00:17:45.930 --> 00:17:50.290
Also, we have a list. You know, yes, you know, we have a list. But yeah.

00:17:50.490 --> 00:17:57.490
So so I wanted to talk about a topic that has come up like several times.

00:17:57.490 --> 00:18:01.530
And I keep seeing and I guess it's, you know, obviously it's like who you follow

00:18:01.530 --> 00:18:04.150
in the algorithm algorithm and all of the things.

00:18:04.330 --> 00:18:13.550
But how many children, how many students are choosing like to take a zero decision?

00:18:14.498 --> 00:18:16.458
Rather than try.

00:18:19.918 --> 00:18:23.738
So the, you know, where, so, so something that's been coming up for me quite a bit.

00:18:24.078 --> 00:18:27.718
And I, it always makes me think of Scott Caldwell, someone that Joe and I had

00:18:27.718 --> 00:18:30.638
worked with for a while. And he left our district.

00:18:30.818 --> 00:18:34.898
He's still working, but in another school district. And he loved the book Grit.

00:18:35.958 --> 00:18:39.178
And then when I moved to the new school, our principal had actually,

00:18:39.178 --> 00:18:41.498
like, asked everyone to read that as well.

00:18:41.498 --> 00:18:47.598
But, you know, it's just, it's, it is the, and I talk about this a lot with

00:18:47.598 --> 00:18:53.778
my students, that the most successful people, the idea is that the most successful

00:18:53.778 --> 00:18:55.418
people are not the smartest.

00:18:55.418 --> 00:19:01.238
They're not always, you know, the most gifted, but they are the most,

00:19:01.398 --> 00:19:07.138
like, they are the least likely to give up. And so what is that quality that

00:19:07.138 --> 00:19:10.158
you can track in the most successful people?

00:19:10.538 --> 00:19:19.838
And that shared quality is grit, their willingness to continue in any kind of

00:19:19.838 --> 00:19:22.098
circumstance, no matter what it is that they face.

00:19:22.098 --> 00:19:29.418
Um, so what, what do you think that we are doing, not doing, not doing, um,

00:19:29.938 --> 00:19:34.158
you know, as a society, as, uh, as teachers, as parents, what do you think is

00:19:34.158 --> 00:19:42.398
happening that, you know, there are so many kids who so easily give up?

00:19:42.898 --> 00:19:45.858
This is a multifaceted question.

00:19:47.358 --> 00:19:52.958
And I'll tell you, there's no easy answer because there's a lot of things that we do.

00:19:53.558 --> 00:19:57.558
We've talked about the idea of learned helplessness where if they don't immediately get,

00:19:58.267 --> 00:20:03.467
something, uh, in regards to work, the hand immediately goes up.

00:20:03.607 --> 00:20:07.347
And I had this activity that I did with my students, um,

00:20:07.967 --> 00:20:12.107
where we were looking up Supreme court justices that I kind of handpicked the

00:20:12.107 --> 00:20:16.207
nine that are currently on the Supreme court, as well as important ones,

00:20:16.307 --> 00:20:21.887
Sandra Day O'Connor, Ruth Bader Ginsburg, Antonin Scalia, like ones that were, you know,

00:20:22.727 --> 00:20:25.207
powerhouse figures, right? Thurgood Marshall. Okay.

00:20:26.607 --> 00:20:31.087
And I gave them resources to look at. And the resources that I gave them were

00:20:31.087 --> 00:20:33.967
government websites. There were encyclopedia entries.

00:20:34.307 --> 00:20:36.827
There were things that I gave them that they could go to and look.

00:20:37.987 --> 00:20:42.087
And I had them answer specific questions about each Supreme Court justice.

00:20:42.747 --> 00:20:48.967
And a lot of it is if the answer is not jumping off the page and doing the Macarena

00:20:48.967 --> 00:20:56.567
for them, they are not willing to, to put forth the extra effort to find, um.

00:20:57.987 --> 00:21:01.847
The answer or look for the value or paraphrase on their own.

00:21:02.027 --> 00:21:05.807
Like it has to be word for word. And I just, I wasn't, I was,

00:21:05.947 --> 00:21:08.547
I kept saying, did you read this?

00:21:08.687 --> 00:21:13.147
Well, no, I just get, well then sit down and read it because you will find it.

00:21:13.907 --> 00:21:16.627
If you, if you go and sit down and read it i tried to like

00:21:16.627 --> 00:21:19.607
talk to them about like you know this is what like the

00:21:19.607 --> 00:21:23.007
the dipping our toe in the water what research looks like i wasn't even asking

00:21:23.007 --> 00:21:25.627
them to find the websites themselves i was giving them to them i was saying

00:21:25.627 --> 00:21:28.747
like because that's a whole other beast it's a whole other beast like i wasn't

00:21:28.747 --> 00:21:32.467
going to get to that because i didn't have that kind of time um but i wanted

00:21:32.467 --> 00:21:38.827
to make sure that you know i gave them the right resource and there were so many kids that um.

00:21:40.074 --> 00:21:48.334
Just either, either gave up or handed in a crappy product or didn't put in the

00:21:48.334 --> 00:21:51.334
effort because they had to do that little bit extra.

00:21:51.574 --> 00:21:54.354
And I don't know if it, I don't want to go back to the pandemic.

00:21:54.554 --> 00:21:58.694
You're like, is it a pandemic thing? No. Like, is it a parenting thing? I don't know.

00:21:59.074 --> 00:22:03.894
But I've been, do you think it's a parenting thing? I think it's a huge component.

00:22:04.194 --> 00:22:07.554
Okay. And I'd love to know your thoughts too. Because I do as well.

00:22:07.814 --> 00:22:11.494
Yeah. And I wish that I, that I had an answer. But I think that there's a little

00:22:11.494 --> 00:22:17.714
bit of a devaluing of what we do in the classroom where students are not expect

00:22:17.714 --> 00:22:21.374
they're expected to get, you know, great grades on everything.

00:22:22.314 --> 00:22:25.314
Or and they're expected to get hundreds on everything that they do.

00:22:25.654 --> 00:22:29.934
But that's sometimes learning comes from mistakes.

00:22:30.154 --> 00:22:34.514
Learning comes from missteps. Learning comes from when you don't find success in something.

00:22:34.694 --> 00:22:38.074
There are life lessons. I do this lesson with my students where I,

00:22:38.074 --> 00:22:42.494
I put up pictures of famous people and we talk about like famous failures.

00:22:42.754 --> 00:22:45.594
And of course, one of the major ones is, uh, Michael Jordan, right?

00:22:45.694 --> 00:22:48.894
The guys cut from his high school basketball, freshman high school basketball

00:22:48.894 --> 00:22:51.094
team. Cause the coach just says he wasn't good enough.

00:22:51.394 --> 00:22:54.974
And Steve jobs was fired from Apple, the company that he created.

00:22:55.134 --> 00:22:57.794
And then the company went in the toilet and then they rehired him back as CEO.

00:22:58.074 --> 00:23:02.334
And Walt Disney, I think was a, is a marketing job. I think he was fired from

00:23:02.334 --> 00:23:04.894
his first marketing job. Cause he was told he wasn't creative enough.

00:23:06.019 --> 00:23:12.939
Can you imagine the moment, though, as Steve Jobs when he rolled back into that company? Yeah.

00:23:13.779 --> 00:23:18.239
That must have been a great moment. No, it must have been. Hey, suckers, I'm back.

00:23:19.519 --> 00:23:24.499
Lady Gaga, people in high school posted. They had a MySpace page that had her

00:23:24.499 --> 00:23:26.179
real name, which I don't remember what it was.

00:23:26.299 --> 00:23:31.419
And it was like, why she will never be successful or she'll never be famous.

00:23:31.619 --> 00:23:35.699
And all the people in her high school joined up. And instead of...

00:23:36.019 --> 00:23:41.079
Going into their shell, they basically said, okay, well, F all you people.

00:23:41.339 --> 00:23:46.219
I'm going to work harder and practice more basketball. I'm going to keep working

00:23:46.219 --> 00:23:48.239
in the technology field and create something great.

00:23:48.359 --> 00:23:53.499
I'm going to create the most recognizable brand in human history.

00:23:53.879 --> 00:24:01.059
When we talk about Disney, you have to use these things, setbacks as springboards.

00:24:01.299 --> 00:24:04.459
There's a young man that, that I just talked to is, you know,

00:24:04.559 --> 00:24:07.779
who he is, who goes to our school, like applied to one of those academies and

00:24:07.779 --> 00:24:11.059
didn't get in and got waitlisted. And I had that conversation with him.

00:24:11.099 --> 00:24:13.119
I pulled him aside and, and him and I talked.

00:24:13.159 --> 00:24:16.659
And I said, there is a, I said, I'm not, I don't want to talk religion with

00:24:16.659 --> 00:24:18.799
you. Cause I had this, this young man, he's a very nice kid.

00:24:19.219 --> 00:24:22.079
I said, there is a path that you're going to be on.

00:24:22.339 --> 00:24:29.679
And these things need to be the, the, the motivation for you to be successful.

00:24:29.679 --> 00:24:32.359
It shouldn't stop you from the path you want to go on.

00:24:32.479 --> 00:24:36.199
It should be like, okay, that door closed, but there is a door somewhere else

00:24:36.199 --> 00:24:39.039
that is open for me. I just don't see it yet.

00:24:39.839 --> 00:24:43.159
And we're also talking about seventh and eighth graders. That's what we deal

00:24:43.159 --> 00:24:44.019
with all the time, right?

00:24:44.179 --> 00:24:49.119
So that is very hard to put them in that mindset because it is immediate,

00:24:49.359 --> 00:24:50.939
instant gratification right now.

00:24:51.559 --> 00:24:57.159
I think that there's a parenting component. I think there's a huge technology

00:24:57.159 --> 00:25:04.079
component because if we are not entertaining and you know dancing in class and

00:25:04.079 --> 00:25:06.219
giving them all this information you know.

00:25:06.991 --> 00:25:09.771
Through creative ways, they immediately shut down.

00:25:09.971 --> 00:25:14.011
They, they're used to getting, you know, unlimited hits of dopamine by opening

00:25:14.011 --> 00:25:18.311
their devices and seeing all that all the time. And if they don't get that,

00:25:18.411 --> 00:25:21.051
they're like, oh, this is boring. I'm just going to close my eyes. Yeah.

00:25:21.311 --> 00:25:23.171
Or, or meaning like metaphorically.

00:25:23.451 --> 00:25:28.191
Yeah. So, um, the book that I had referenced earlier was, um,

00:25:28.471 --> 00:25:30.391
was written by Angela Duckworth.

00:25:30.631 --> 00:25:34.171
Um, there's lots of Ted talks and things, um, you know, from her as well.

00:25:34.311 --> 00:25:40.111
And she defines this personality trait as a combination of perseverance and

00:25:40.111 --> 00:25:44.611
passion for long-term goals characterized by a sustained effort and resilience

00:25:44.611 --> 00:25:46.131
in the face of challenges.

00:25:46.331 --> 00:25:57.051
So the idea here is, how do you foster the idea in each individual child?

00:25:57.411 --> 00:26:06.811
How do you really teach them or show them the importance of this?

00:26:06.971 --> 00:26:10.591
So, you know, are you tenacious? Are you determined?

00:26:11.051 --> 00:26:14.531
You know, how, you know, I know a lot of people say like, oh, it's not the setback.

00:26:14.591 --> 00:26:18.511
It's the, you know, the get up or, you know, there's like a thousand ways to

00:26:18.511 --> 00:26:29.551
say the same thing, but are we, as teachers, prioritizing that idea for kids?

00:26:29.851 --> 00:26:34.631
You know, and a lot of what we do in school and the model of school is.

00:26:35.465 --> 00:26:41.605
Lacks passion. You know, it's like, because it's the same, like repeating certain

00:26:41.605 --> 00:26:44.425
subjects and it's, you know, certain ideas and it's like, well,

00:26:44.485 --> 00:26:45.865
I'm not really interested in this.

00:26:45.905 --> 00:26:50.665
So it is difficult to become really, you know, passionate about something that

00:26:50.665 --> 00:26:52.825
you are not necessarily interested in.

00:26:53.005 --> 00:26:58.225
How do you teach the importance of, even if it's not something that immediately

00:26:58.225 --> 00:27:03.925
sparks a flame, how do you get it, you know, to sort of get some interest going

00:27:03.925 --> 00:27:06.565
for that? That's a great question.

00:27:07.245 --> 00:27:08.445
I don't have an answer.

00:27:09.625 --> 00:27:15.085
I also used to do an activity, which I got from one of my fraternity brothers,

00:27:15.585 --> 00:27:19.065
and he did this in a seminar with us, and I really liked it,

00:27:19.125 --> 00:27:24.005
and I kind of adapted it to do something with my classes where we would list

00:27:24.005 --> 00:27:25.985
some successful people on the board.

00:27:27.405 --> 00:27:30.625
Athletes, famous people, business leaders, whatever.

00:27:31.385 --> 00:27:34.885
And then we would basically go through and talk about, okay,

00:27:35.025 --> 00:27:36.345
what qualities do they have?

00:27:36.805 --> 00:27:39.305
And they would talk about all those things that they're determined,

00:27:39.445 --> 00:27:41.845
that they're hardworking, that they're educated, that they're this, blah, blah, blah.

00:27:43.005 --> 00:27:46.985
And 90% of the things that we would put on the board, I would go down and I'd

00:27:46.985 --> 00:27:49.105
look at that 10% and say, okay, so they're wealthy.

00:27:49.225 --> 00:27:51.665
I was like, okay, so this is something that they need to do.

00:27:51.985 --> 00:27:54.645
Okay, so they have a college degree. So we can get to that later.

00:27:54.765 --> 00:27:59.065
But all these other things, determined, hardworking, perseverance,

00:27:59.905 --> 00:28:01.505
attitudes, they're all attitudes.

00:28:01.745 --> 00:28:04.465
They're not anything. it's a mindset there's not

00:28:04.465 --> 00:28:07.925
anything that you need to do differently except change your

00:28:07.925 --> 00:28:11.445
mindset and go i'm gonna then push through and do

00:28:11.445 --> 00:28:15.165
this extra thing i'm gonna i'm gonna put forth the extra effort i'm gonna do

00:28:15.165 --> 00:28:19.465
the little bit extra if i wanted to get a b in algebra 2 in high school i had

00:28:19.465 --> 00:28:22.825
to have a tutor three days a week i had to go during my lunch couldn't sit with

00:28:22.825 --> 00:28:27.625
my friends met with a young man who was a year older than me wound up being

00:28:27.625 --> 00:28:30.845
like nice dude um someone who

00:28:31.145 --> 00:28:33.405
helped me like pass my algebra class, right?

00:28:33.505 --> 00:28:37.465
Cause I just needed that extra prep and extra help. I had to put forth the extra effort.

00:28:38.247 --> 00:28:41.747
Right. But you're, you're asking a great question. There's a lot of this,

00:28:41.887 --> 00:28:43.027
like, man, I just didn't do that.

00:28:43.907 --> 00:28:48.007
Right. Like, oh, the thing I just didn't do. Like, it was hard.

00:28:48.247 --> 00:28:53.807
Right. It was hard. So what is the difference between kids who will continue?

00:28:54.107 --> 00:28:58.327
So some of the, some of it is that they, you know, how do you, how do you foster that?

00:28:58.467 --> 00:29:04.607
So setting goals, reaching a goal, setting small goals, attainable goals, reaching the goal.

00:29:04.747 --> 00:29:07.487
And then the minute that you do that, what's your next goal?

00:29:08.247 --> 00:29:11.847
Oh, yeah. And then the next one. And then the next one. But I do believe that

00:29:11.847 --> 00:29:21.707
some of this must be tied into support and the systems of support and self-esteem. Yeah.

00:29:22.167 --> 00:29:26.587
You know, and. You have to build that small success. And that's what I do in

00:29:26.587 --> 00:29:29.047
the executive function coaching that I do.

00:29:29.187 --> 00:29:32.187
You have to feel that success and then want to keep going.

00:29:32.467 --> 00:29:37.747
Yeah. And we built like small steps in like, okay, for the next three days before

00:29:37.747 --> 00:29:45.247
we meet next, okay, we will, you know, we're going to set a goal that you're going to achieve.

00:29:45.527 --> 00:29:49.847
So when I work with my executive function students, we set small measurable

00:29:49.847 --> 00:29:52.547
goals. So if we meet on a Monday and a Thursday, I'll say, okay,

00:29:52.687 --> 00:29:54.767
let's look at your schedule.

00:29:55.387 --> 00:30:00.047
Let's see if we can check a box and find the production time you need to complete

00:30:00.047 --> 00:30:02.327
your homework. Let's schedule a time to get your homework done.

00:30:02.827 --> 00:30:06.427
Because a lot of the parents that I deal with are like, my kid waits at the last minute.

00:30:06.747 --> 00:30:09.127
They never write this down. They're like, do you have homework?

00:30:09.267 --> 00:30:10.927
No, I don't have homework. No, no, no, no.

00:30:11.287 --> 00:30:13.327
1030 comes along. Oh, wait, I had an assignment I had to do.

00:30:13.447 --> 00:30:16.347
And then we're pulling out the work and we're doing it then. And.

00:30:17.506 --> 00:30:22.706
Part of me wants to say at that point, you need to have a cutoff and say,

00:30:22.866 --> 00:30:27.006
you come to me at 1030 saying you have a homework assignment.

00:30:27.646 --> 00:30:30.626
That's a you problem. I'm not going to sit down and do it with you.

00:30:30.866 --> 00:30:34.526
I know. I know how this sounds. I wouldn't even be a week at 1030.

00:30:36.546 --> 00:30:40.866
There's that too, right? Yeah. It's like there's a cutoff. After 9 p.m.,

00:30:40.866 --> 00:30:43.846
it is a you problem. Right. Okay.

00:30:44.446 --> 00:30:48.706
And I don't, a lot of parents are not willing to, Oh, then I'll get a bad grade. And then they'll blah.

00:30:49.326 --> 00:30:54.466
And a lot of times like that needs to happen too.

00:30:54.606 --> 00:30:58.946
Like the parent needs to be a little bit like, you know, stronger. You mean say no?

00:30:59.846 --> 00:31:04.106
Yes. You mean say no. Exactly. And I, and I think that parents don't want to

00:31:04.106 --> 00:31:07.346
be the bad guy. So then we sometimes have to become the bad Right.

00:31:07.526 --> 00:31:13.366
They want to make school the bad guy. Yes. And it's really very difficult because

00:31:13.366 --> 00:31:18.726
what they can accomplish with, you know, how many kids, you know,

00:31:18.806 --> 00:31:20.826
it's like the average family has two or three kids.

00:31:20.946 --> 00:31:23.026
So, you know, a couple of adults.

00:31:23.826 --> 00:31:29.506
I'm sorry. What? My wife was just sneaking in. No, Tracy was just sneaking in here like.

00:31:34.746 --> 00:31:38.246
And she like grabbed her pencil case and she was looking at me like.

00:31:41.346 --> 00:31:45.326
That was a good impersonation of her i'm leaving this in because that was great

00:31:45.326 --> 00:31:49.426
uh great yeah i'm sorry you actually were making a very good point it was serious

00:31:49.426 --> 00:31:52.786
and i'm sorry that's all right so let's go back to that we're doing it live

00:31:52.786 --> 00:31:56.806
yeah we're twin we're going for it no that that idea of like, you know,

00:31:57.206 --> 00:32:01.526
saying you're the parent or I chose to have you and now I'm going to give you

00:32:01.526 --> 00:32:05.326
my full attention, which sometimes in school is...

00:32:06.092 --> 00:32:11.392
Really hard to do. As much as we build relationships, as much as we want to

00:32:11.392 --> 00:32:16.552
know something about every kid, as much as we try to, I mean, I try to really,

00:32:16.812 --> 00:32:21.512
really like look at their faces and be able to determine like,

00:32:21.592 --> 00:32:23.352
are they having a good day?

00:32:23.632 --> 00:32:26.972
Can I recognize when they're having a terrible day?

00:32:27.172 --> 00:32:31.152
You know what I mean? But I have a hundred kids. In my home,

00:32:31.312 --> 00:32:36.752
there are three. I know I don't have to study my kids' faces, you know.

00:32:37.032 --> 00:32:40.412
And so sometimes I think that that is a disadvantage for kids because,

00:32:40.412 --> 00:32:46.052
you know, the ratio is so much lower in the home that if they could really, you know,

00:32:46.832 --> 00:32:51.792
sit with them, talk to them about what the roadblocks might be or what the challenges

00:32:51.792 --> 00:32:57.592
might, you know, might be, you know, then things would get, you know, accomplished.

00:32:57.592 --> 00:33:03.172
And also there's the other side of like, you're, you just didn't do it.

00:33:04.052 --> 00:33:10.592
Right. So we've talked about that also. You just didn't do it. So what?

00:33:11.752 --> 00:33:16.132
There's no consequence. That's the other thing. It's like, there's no consequence in your house?

00:33:16.432 --> 00:33:19.712
That's the other thing too. There was a, there's another young man that I work

00:33:19.712 --> 00:33:25.232
with and he's a very nice kid, but you know what?

00:33:25.292 --> 00:33:28.032
I'm not putting this on him. Like, I think it's on the school.

00:33:28.212 --> 00:33:31.132
Like they, like some of the teachers have this policy where they like,

00:33:31.272 --> 00:33:34.732
you can just hand anything in at any time and get full credit for it.

00:33:34.892 --> 00:33:37.412
And it just, it doesn't work.

00:33:37.712 --> 00:33:41.692
Like you're just giving them an out all the time. So he's got like this practice

00:33:41.692 --> 00:33:45.152
thing he has to do. And like, you always get credit for it at the end of the marking period.

00:33:45.772 --> 00:33:49.712
And he's, he's expected to do it because mom expects him to do it.

00:33:50.232 --> 00:33:53.932
And number one rule, mom ain't happy. No one's happy. So we're doing what mom says.

00:33:54.732 --> 00:33:57.852
Um and that needs to be completed but there's

00:33:57.852 --> 00:34:00.732
when there's no penalty it's like i just didn't do it this weekend

00:34:00.732 --> 00:34:03.452
like i you know sleeping i was hanging out and then

00:34:03.452 --> 00:34:06.092
blah blah blah and then it becomes like well you

00:34:06.092 --> 00:34:08.572
didn't do this and now you have to it's marked late but i know you're not going

00:34:08.572 --> 00:34:11.532
to get a late grade but you need to do it and the kid's like well i'm gonna

00:34:11.532 --> 00:34:16.532
get to it eventually and he's not wrong because like there's no penalty for

00:34:16.532 --> 00:34:21.132
him not handing the thing in right you know so there's there's that and i and

00:34:21.132 --> 00:34:24.212
i go back again when i first start working with kids It's about setting those

00:34:24.212 --> 00:34:25.252
small, measurable goals.

00:34:25.452 --> 00:34:28.212
So if I'm meeting with you on a Monday and then on a Thursday,

00:34:28.432 --> 00:34:32.312
like, okay, Tuesday, Wednesday, and Thursday before we meet,

00:34:32.472 --> 00:34:33.792
when are you going to do your homework?

00:34:33.972 --> 00:34:37.012
Well, Tuesday, I got this. Wednesday, I got that. So I'll do my homework at

00:34:37.012 --> 00:34:40.712
5 o'clock each night because I'm going to come home. I know I got that time.

00:34:40.852 --> 00:34:44.752
That's my production time. I'll come home. And then we meet and we talk about, did you do that?

00:34:45.783 --> 00:34:49.643
Yes. Great. We just succeeded three days in a row.

00:34:50.043 --> 00:34:53.963
Now let's next week, let's start on Monday and let's make it all the way to

00:34:53.963 --> 00:34:56.083
Friday. Let's see if we can do it. Okay.

00:34:56.543 --> 00:34:59.463
And then I talked to them constantly about if you're going to form a habit,

00:34:59.603 --> 00:35:03.963
if you're going to change practice, on average, it takes 66 days to form a habit,

00:35:04.103 --> 00:35:07.163
whether it's eating right, exercising, any of those things.

00:35:07.283 --> 00:35:10.763
That's the number that someone came up with, whatever research there is, right? Yeah.

00:35:11.363 --> 00:35:14.303
If you want to form half a habit, it's 28 days.

00:35:14.603 --> 00:35:19.583
Yes. So it's just such a, it's like, I don't know.

00:35:19.663 --> 00:35:23.243
There's like, there's no easy answer, but a lot of the parents and the schools,

00:35:23.503 --> 00:35:26.523
because we don't want to hear from parents, like, oh, they got bad grades and

00:35:26.523 --> 00:35:28.743
they're calling and they're coming in and then blah.

00:35:28.943 --> 00:35:32.643
And then like, I get that too, like from the school perspective,

00:35:32.663 --> 00:35:34.943
but there's a lot of people that I work with.

00:35:35.063 --> 00:35:38.203
It's like, oh, I'll accept it. Oh, I got them to hand in all their work at the

00:35:38.203 --> 00:35:43.023
end of the marking period. So now I can pass them that they didn't learn anything.

00:35:43.303 --> 00:35:47.103
All they learned was that they can wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait and wait.

00:35:47.223 --> 00:35:51.163
And you'll allow them to hand something in and then still pass them in that

00:35:51.163 --> 00:35:53.903
class. And there is a quote that I actually sent to you the other day.

00:35:54.043 --> 00:35:58.803
That is perfect for this. And it's from Desmond Tutu, um, who a,

00:35:58.983 --> 00:36:03.403
uh, a person on Instagram had posted and it says, and I love this.

00:36:03.643 --> 00:36:09.543
I want to marry it. I want to tattoo it on my arm. We need to stop pulling people out of the river.

00:36:09.763 --> 00:36:13.683
We need to go upstream and find out why they're falling in.

00:36:14.263 --> 00:36:20.023
And I'm like, oh, it's like I must have read that like 10 times before I sent

00:36:20.023 --> 00:36:22.363
it to you. And I was like, yeah, damn, I've never.

00:36:22.523 --> 00:36:25.783
Number one, I'd never heard that before earlier than earlier this week.

00:36:25.803 --> 00:36:30.103
But like we are not doing anything if we're not going back and saying,

00:36:30.103 --> 00:36:35.483
why is this happening in the first place? I'm a big believer in like things

00:36:35.483 --> 00:36:37.403
being uniform for kids at this age too.

00:36:37.583 --> 00:36:39.903
I'm going to tell you a couple of early theories that I have.

00:36:40.023 --> 00:36:41.843
Everybody does it. Everybody does it differently. Yeah.

00:36:42.023 --> 00:36:45.283
I'm sorry. I'm rambling. A couple, a couple of theories that I have that are

00:36:45.283 --> 00:36:50.383
big contributing factors to a lot of children being like, eh,

00:36:51.243 --> 00:36:56.383
you know, because it's like, well, we see more and more kids being less and

00:36:56.383 --> 00:36:58.503
less excited or excitable.

00:36:58.783 --> 00:37:01.983
Right. And it's like, God, you're a kid. Like, why are you not like pump it

00:37:01.983 --> 00:37:03.423
up? like, you should be more excited.

00:37:03.583 --> 00:37:09.803
Anyway, I had, my daughter had this teacher, and she always said,

00:37:09.803 --> 00:37:11.583
play is a child's workplace.

00:37:12.123 --> 00:37:18.243
I do believe that part of this is tied into pushing and doing things too early.

00:37:19.335 --> 00:37:22.615
Before we are developmentally capable of doing it.

00:37:22.915 --> 00:37:28.215
For example? For example, like we want kindergartners to be reading at a level

00:37:28.215 --> 00:37:31.095
D by the time that, and it's like- What a bunch of BS.

00:37:31.275 --> 00:37:34.595
Why are we doing that? I am by no means, and I know how I sound.

00:37:34.775 --> 00:37:38.815
I am by no means an expert, but like, come on. You are.

00:37:39.455 --> 00:37:43.535
Yep. Oh, okay. You are. Not a kindergarten, not a kindergarten.

00:37:43.535 --> 00:37:45.755
But you know how I stand. You know where I stand about this.

00:37:45.895 --> 00:37:48.735
Like you're working in a profession that you've been educated in.

00:37:49.275 --> 00:37:57.035
With a master's degree for 26 years, 30 plus years with your years of study, you are. Okay.

00:37:57.375 --> 00:38:02.695
So thank you. I tell every teacher that I meet, and no matter where we are or

00:38:02.695 --> 00:38:06.115
what they say, and people say this all the time, like, I don't, I'm not an expert.

00:38:06.235 --> 00:38:08.975
Yes, you are. You are an expert. You are.

00:38:09.835 --> 00:38:16.235
And that goes for Joe, you know, for me, for anyone that's doing what we do. Yes, you are.

00:38:16.915 --> 00:38:22.575
But the idea of, you know, taking away recess, taking away that's movement,

00:38:22.995 --> 00:38:27.335
taking away play, like play and discovery and learning how to mitigate issues

00:38:27.335 --> 00:38:30.735
with other kids, figuring it out on their own. Yeah.

00:38:31.115 --> 00:38:35.015
All of those things. And then, I mean, think about third grade,

00:38:35.635 --> 00:38:37.775
right? I was kicking it with Mrs. Delorier.

00:38:38.435 --> 00:38:43.855
She was amazing. My favorite thing was every Friday, she would read to us a

00:38:43.855 --> 00:38:45.935
chapter from Tales of a Fourth Grade Nothing.

00:38:46.235 --> 00:38:53.635
And she even did the voices and I can sit, like I can feel how I felt listening to her read to us.

00:38:53.775 --> 00:38:56.995
It was such a simple highlighted moment.

00:38:57.315 --> 00:39:03.175
We were maybe, maybe two or three days of cat testing.

00:39:03.355 --> 00:39:06.275
Remember the California achievement test? Oh, yeah, I remember. Right?

00:39:06.615 --> 00:39:12.395
And that was it. Like, it wasn't, you didn't, like, prepare and wait and go.

00:39:13.515 --> 00:39:19.035
So we're now, yes, obviously, we progress and we learn and we grow.

00:39:19.495 --> 00:39:25.395
But at the cost of the kids at this point in time, it doesn't seem like,

00:39:25.975 --> 00:39:28.655
isn't that a movie? Like, are the kids all right? Or the kids are all right?

00:39:28.895 --> 00:39:32.215
Are they? We also go back to,

00:39:32.855 --> 00:39:37.275
you know, I know I'm talking about the district that I work in and I am proud

00:39:37.275 --> 00:39:44.915
to both work and I was educated in and I now work in the district that I grew up in.

00:39:45.015 --> 00:39:50.175
You're a lifer. I live in the community that, you know, that I that I grew up in.

00:39:50.415 --> 00:39:55.235
I take pride in that. I want to make this a, you know, a great experience for

00:39:55.235 --> 00:39:57.615
the kids that I teach in my classroom.

00:39:57.675 --> 00:40:00.075
But also I want to make my community a better place.

00:40:00.235 --> 00:40:04.875
You know, the more, you know, the star flies over my head. Yes. But like.

00:40:06.354 --> 00:40:10.834
We, we change, we, and I'm not trying to be critical of decisions that are made

00:40:10.834 --> 00:40:14.034
above me because, uh, you know, it's trickle down economics, right?

00:40:14.094 --> 00:40:16.714
It comes from the state, then goes to here and it goes to there and it comes down.

00:40:16.834 --> 00:40:21.114
And I'm sure there's more moving parts than I know, but we, we change the schedule.

00:40:21.254 --> 00:40:24.694
We go to six periods. We add, we add electives.

00:40:24.894 --> 00:40:29.254
Most of those electives are academic based electives, journalism,

00:40:29.714 --> 00:40:34.034
creative writing, graphic novel, all ones that are academically based.

00:40:34.034 --> 00:40:36.794
There's no, and granted, there's an infrastructure problem with this.

00:40:36.894 --> 00:40:39.414
There's no woodshop. There's no cooking. There's no this. There's no that.

00:40:40.054 --> 00:40:44.194
We have a gym class where, you know, whatever it is, once a week,

00:40:44.614 --> 00:40:48.514
twice a month that they take the whole day and they sit and they do these SEO

00:40:48.514 --> 00:40:51.274
lessons sitting in the floor working out of a workbook.

00:40:52.314 --> 00:40:57.934
Let them run around outside and play a game. Let them play kickball.

00:40:58.134 --> 00:40:59.774
Let them go outside with their friends.

00:41:00.074 --> 00:41:03.794
Let them go out on the, you know, on the turf in the back. I'm not saying the phys ed teachers.

00:41:03.794 --> 00:41:12.394
How are you going to develop a sense of, like a true sense of self-worth or even just, you know,

00:41:12.694 --> 00:41:20.114
work on your ability to persevere in anything if you aren't really given an

00:41:20.114 --> 00:41:26.454
opportunity to feel genuinely successful in an area, any area, regardless. place.

00:41:26.614 --> 00:41:30.394
I, again, I know, I know I keep going back to the, the, the students that I

00:41:30.394 --> 00:41:32.934
work with, but it was a young man, very high achieving young man.

00:41:33.054 --> 00:41:36.674
And, and, you know, he gets stressed out sometimes and I, I can kind of,

00:41:36.754 --> 00:41:38.814
I can kind of feel it when he is.

00:41:39.634 --> 00:41:41.774
And I always tell him like, Hey man, I ain't taking it personally.

00:41:42.074 --> 00:41:44.534
Like, I know you're stressed out. I know you're frustrated. I know you're not

00:41:44.534 --> 00:41:47.614
frustrated with me because we have a, you know, him and I have a good relationship.

00:41:48.134 --> 00:41:54.554
Um, but like, I also know like when he's having a stressed out time at the same time,

00:41:54.674 --> 00:41:57.494
we were talking about his schedule for next year and he's like yeah i'm

00:41:57.494 --> 00:42:00.354
gonna take ceramics again i'm like oh like do you like it he's like

00:42:00.354 --> 00:42:03.054
yeah it's like i'm not a huge fan of it but like it's a

00:42:03.054 --> 00:42:05.814
class where i don't have to think and i can just go in and

00:42:05.814 --> 00:42:09.834
like relax a little bit and do something and it turns out which he

00:42:09.834 --> 00:42:12.654
didn't tell me but we've working together for a long time like he

00:42:12.654 --> 00:42:15.474
makes he has an app that he uses to like make his own music it's not

00:42:15.474 --> 00:42:18.194
garage band but it's like some other app he's like yeah i just

00:42:18.194 --> 00:42:20.914
find it very relaxing and i make my own beats and he wrote a

00:42:20.914 --> 00:42:24.554
podcast shout out to podcasts for um the

00:42:24.554 --> 00:42:27.134
friday night lights book that they read and they had to like talk about the

00:42:27.134 --> 00:42:30.974
book and the racial implications great little great look i thought i thought

00:42:30.974 --> 00:42:33.874
actually him and his group members did a great job they stuck to their topic

00:42:33.874 --> 00:42:38.614
they you know he and his music was the music in the podcast like he made his

00:42:38.614 --> 00:42:42.934
own like little little beat it was great it was it was awesome like.

00:42:44.712 --> 00:42:49.032
Unless you're, it's just, it's so frustrating to me.

00:42:49.092 --> 00:42:53.752
We need more opportunities to be able to expose them to, yes. Yeah.

00:42:53.952 --> 00:42:56.232
And it's like, I have a art class.

00:42:56.672 --> 00:43:00.852
They have coding. No offense to coding. Not every kid wants to code.

00:43:00.992 --> 00:43:02.432
Like they have robotics.

00:43:02.792 --> 00:43:06.652
Not every kid is into that. I understand that they're trying to do all these

00:43:06.652 --> 00:43:13.432
academic things, but there is nothing that they have to have any kind of release of energy.

00:43:13.712 --> 00:43:18.232
Yes. You know, so I'm a big fan of our, I'm a big fan of our movement Monday,

00:43:18.512 --> 00:43:23.112
like the things that we do, but like that kind of got ruined by too many people walking outside.

00:43:23.292 --> 00:43:26.672
Like, Oh, I love it. I was dancing. I dance every week. We dance every week.

00:43:26.712 --> 00:43:29.592
And I'm going to say this. I'm going to take the credit. I'm the OG.

00:43:29.852 --> 00:43:35.592
Okay. I texted our boss and said, can I take them outside for a walk? And she said, yes.

00:43:35.752 --> 00:43:38.892
And I was the first one to go. So I was the Christopher Columbus of doing this.

00:43:38.892 --> 00:43:43.592
And I really, really enjoyed those walks because I would go like,

00:43:43.772 --> 00:43:45.372
well, why don't you do it again?

00:43:45.752 --> 00:43:49.992
Well, because we were told that we can't because too many people were going outside.

00:43:50.452 --> 00:43:53.852
Kids were coming back in rambunctious because they weren't being properly supervised.

00:43:54.192 --> 00:43:58.432
So rightfully so she ended it. But I really love those walks.

00:43:58.612 --> 00:43:59.792
It gave me an opportunity.

00:44:00.072 --> 00:44:02.432
Like, hey, how was your weekend? What'd you do? Oh, you had soccer?

00:44:02.592 --> 00:44:05.972
Like I talked to kids. I would, I had one girl. Maybe you can go in the courtyard.

00:44:06.312 --> 00:44:09.552
Yeah, I, I, I probably can. I had one girl that I would talk to.

00:44:10.312 --> 00:44:14.012
She's not in our building anymore, but I would ask her like weird questions.

00:44:14.012 --> 00:44:18.432
It's like, if you could have any non-exotic or you could have any non-traditional

00:44:18.432 --> 00:44:20.772
animal as a pet, what would you have? She's like, Axel Waddle.

00:44:20.892 --> 00:44:22.112
And I was like, Axel what now?

00:44:22.372 --> 00:44:26.392
I'm like, Axel Rose, you want to sing Sweet Child of Mine? I have no idea what you're talking about.

00:44:26.512 --> 00:44:28.612
So I didn't know what it was. And then she explained it. And then we looked

00:44:28.612 --> 00:44:30.972
it up and we were talking about it and we laughed about it. And it was like

00:44:30.972 --> 00:44:32.952
such a cute little moment, you know?

00:44:33.552 --> 00:44:36.752
And I wouldn't have had that if we didn't go on those walks because I don't

00:44:36.752 --> 00:44:39.192
have that time in class. I don't sometimes don't have that luxury.

00:44:39.372 --> 00:44:41.592
Like I really enjoyed doing that.

00:44:42.363 --> 00:44:45.903
You know, and it also is a great activity to do, to get out,

00:44:46.063 --> 00:44:49.363
walk. Well, I say you should persevere and try it again. Get out in the quad.

00:44:49.563 --> 00:44:52.663
Well, I got to have, I'm going to get permission because I'm a,

00:44:52.883 --> 00:44:55.603
I, you know, I, I live my life by two main rules.

00:44:56.543 --> 00:45:00.023
Do what women tell you and don't tell women what to do. And it has served me

00:45:00.023 --> 00:45:02.043
very well in my life thus far.

00:45:02.403 --> 00:45:07.043
So I guess we'll continue on to try to figure out exactly, you know,

00:45:07.143 --> 00:45:11.263
some, some more ways to solve or dig into.

00:45:11.623 --> 00:45:15.863
Yeah. Some solutions or some things to make it better because that's what we're

00:45:15.863 --> 00:45:18.023
all about. But it certainly is an issue.

00:45:18.363 --> 00:45:23.383
And it is definitely something that, you know, another thing that educators

00:45:23.383 --> 00:45:29.883
face in their day to day of trying to inspire and educate and also, you know,

00:45:29.983 --> 00:45:34.743
foster student independence, growth and grit.

00:45:35.103 --> 00:45:38.603
Yeah, I really. What was the name of the book again that you referenced for

00:45:38.603 --> 00:45:41.463
our listeners in case they're interested? What was the name of that? Grit.

00:45:42.363 --> 00:45:45.423
Great by Angela Duckworth. By Angela Duckworth. It's called Great.

00:45:46.243 --> 00:45:50.543
I actually have. And if you're not a reader, check out her TED Talk because it's fantastic.

00:45:50.983 --> 00:45:56.023
Yeah, I think I just might do that. So you might. All right.

00:45:56.403 --> 00:46:02.063
As always, my friend, I appreciate you very much. And I appreciate you and your

00:46:02.063 --> 00:46:03.703
salmon shirt. Yes, salmon.

00:46:03.943 --> 00:46:07.283
I'm going to go have an almond cookie and go to bed. There you go. All right.

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Well, thanks a lot again. And we'll see you next time on Balanced Gank Podcast. Bye.

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Music.

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Look for the balancing act podcast every week on your favorite podcast platform

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new episodes drop every t-step Thank you for being a part of our audience.

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Music.